One If By Land, Two If By Dave

First of all, it should be noted, I was going to apologize for my lack of posting anything while I was adventuring across the uncharted, uninhabitable lands of Europe. But, I'm just not going to do that because I simply couldn't. Europe doesn't have the internets. Al Gore hasn't invented it with European patents, yet. So, it was nearly impossible to post anything. Okay, okay, I'm still sorry. Sorry you didn't get to have more of me. Don't you fret a bit, though, my lovelies. I'm back and you will have your fill. Then, you'll want to vomit as you had too much, a veritable Davethanksgiving. Then, you'll take a nap while watching football (do I mean soccer?) and wake up and do it all over again. God bless Chomerica!

Anyway, it's time to share as much about my trip as I possibly can share. It was so unbelievably incredible! Everything! When it was good, it was great! When it was mediocre, it was fantastic! And when it was bad, it was French! Truly, the trip was a life-changer, an eye-opener, and a dream-fulfiller. I was all-at-once humbled, excited, proud, inspired, captivated, educated, and changed. 22 days held within it an entire lifetime of experience. I'm going to do my best to have you follow along in my footsteps (they're size 12, so you should be able to fit) across a great majority of Europe. It will be an exciting, yet difficult, adventure as I seek to unravel and explain what occurred. I have a great deal of work ahead of me, mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually, geometrically, economically, picadilly, realistically, irrevocably, and mashedpotatoesically.

I traveled by plane, by train, by taxi, and foot. I put more miles under my feet than some people do in a lifetime. To show for it, I have blisters and aches and worn-out shoes, experiences and friends and memories, lessons and goals and unconquerable joy. I ruined a duffel bag, a pair of jeans, a belt, two shirts, and one of my bank accounts. I ate foods that ignited new senses, danced like I did before I hit puberty, met amazing people from all over, fell in love with Italy, and challenged members of the Swiss army to arm-wrestling matches. I learned that I need to be fluent in more languages, that I am more capable than I ever believed, that laughs and joys and fears are universal, that America has a lot more responsibility than we like to admit, that good wine is a food group and should be a part of every meal, that beer can be for breakfast, that the clothes on your back and in your pack are all you really need, that beer pong is an international sport, and, most importantly, I learned that I haven't even started yet.

I want you...to make a diamond rack

There is so much to this world. It is as small as it is ginormous. Human beings all share it. The words are all, in some way, the same. Our actions ripple. Our lives don't stop at the ends of our fingertips.

Whooo! I need a nap now. Okay, I know what will help. A list! So, here's a brief list of some interesting facts:

• I was on a nine-hour flight to Madrid to begin the trip
• I had an eight-hour flight from London to end the trip
• Iceland has volcanoes! And best yet, they erupt, spewing ash into the air and sending an entire continent into disarray, halting transportation, generating chaos and riots, and forcing American travelers to have to stay up 36 hours straight in an effort to get to France – no worries, very much well worth it because of Milan!
• It officially only rained 2 days of my entire trip
• I didn't bring a coat and I needed one only occasionally
• The French like to go on strike every other day, with exception to holidays, then they put real effort in and strike twice as hard
• The cheapest meal I had was the equivalent to $12 and I was starving afterward
• I had the most bromantic man-date of my life in Paris with Rick
• Ace Of Base is really popular in the Czech Republic...
• Eye contact is very important
• No other countries work out – seriously, Rick and I were the biggest people in the entire country everywhere we went – we're body-conscious so we know how to spot them and we didn't see another dude that looked like he threw iron around until we were in London, and he was an American
• Also, I'm very full of myself

That feels much better. I have some interesting statistics to share with you, too.

For one, I lost 13 pounds in 22 days. Yikes! Don't worry, I ate, just not as often as at home. One can't really grab a meal every two and half hours when you are on four-hour tours. Also, I walked EVERYWHERE! Don't get me wrong, I loved it. Really loved it. When I got back into my car at home, it felt foreign and, I don't know, gross. I know I have the power to move myself with two legs and I just want to keep doing it. I envy living in a city where you don't have to drive everywhere and where there are bike paths set up throughout the entire affair. We can learn something. We need to learn something.

Okay, for the second stat, I spent over … A LOT of money in total, for the entire trip. I won't share that exact number, for two main reasons. Reason A) My brothers would worry. Reason B) My friends would ask me for money if they knew what I could afford. If you really want to know because you're trying to plan for yourself, then I'll share bits and pieces. Total accommodations cost, as in hostels and hotels, was around $700, but Rick had some free hotel stays with his job. That number should be higher. Hostels are amazing, so I definitely recommend them. All transportation, including flights, trains (with the Eurail Pass at $600), taxis, and public transportation like buses and subways (which were amazing and safe, for the most part, and totally unlike what we have – more lessons), came out to be pretty close to $1900, give or take (note: I didn't have to pay for my flights to and from the US, because they were a gift, but I did want to include their ballpark price). I mostly did free tours, which only cost you as much as you would like to tip AND PLEASE DO TIP but there were some tours and sites that did have some monetary cost, including pub crawls. The ballpark on those events is around $300. Food and nightlife are the most expensive aspects, next to transportation. I haven't quite figured this part out yet and it will vary for everybody. I will say this, though. I was at one of the hottest clubs in all of Milan, called Hollywood, where the drinks cost 10 Euro each. That's almost $13. So...wrap your head around that. My guess is that food and drink cost me around $1200. Truly, in almost every case, it was worth it. The food was phenomenal! The bugger is that they include service in their prices and charge extra for water, condiments, bread, smiles, silverware, tables, napkins, chairs, and plates. I think they need to learn something from America. Portions weren't small, like most Texans say when they visit. They were perfect. Just enough to be fed but not full. Souvenirs cost me as well, but, that's none of your business! Here's the deal, though. I was learning a lot, so I made mistakes. I know several ways I could have saved some money here and there. I plan on providing tips either throughout the blog posts or as a wrap-up when this endeavor is complete. I shouldn't scare you with these numbers. I had a lot of fun and I realized that it is worth it. Really, truly, worth it.

Aw, shucks! No money left for roofies!

I packed about 24 shirts/sweaters/button-ups/polos, 3 pairs of jeans, 2 pairs of shoes, necessary socks and unders, and 2 belts. It was the perfect amount. I never once needed khakis or shorts. That's different if you travel in the summer. I only did laundry once, about halfway through. That was mostly for the socks and unders, anyway. I wasn't really weighed down until I started collecting souvenirs. Definitely bring an extra duffel for just that reason, or plan to ship them home.

I took over 1500 pictures. I have loaded all of it up on the computer and I'm ready to share.

I brought four translation/phrase books – Spanish, German, Italian, and French. I used them very often, but I highly recommend investment in Rosetta Stone language software or classes in an effort to learn the languages. I have a fairly strong base in Spanish, and weaker bases in German and French, and it can be frustrating. Don't be so proud and foolish to think everybody speaks English. They try, therefore we should try.

Credit cards aren't the first form of currency typically accepted, as they are here. This is especially true in hole-in-the-wall-but-delicious-foods restaurants. Most retail establishments accept cards readily. I was foolish to bring so little cash and then, even after learning otherwise, pulling out so little cash time after time. ATM charges are expensive, so are exchange rate charges at money transfers. It's just a necessary cost. Don't bring wads of cash, but also don't bring too little. I'd say $500 per week is safe.

Erm, I think that's about it for now. I apologize if my typical, keeps-you-rolling-for-hours, witty humor is lacking a bit from this post. Trust me, I didn't lose it at customs. More to come. Much, much more.

Next post? The Chomconquista: I Begin In Spain